I’M MOVING…………………….


my blog, not my house! LOL!

I have been thinking about it for a while, and have finally decided to take the plunge!

So my new blog can be found at :


Please come and find me over there and subscribe to my new blog, this one shall remain open at the moment, but NO further posts will take place!


Centre Parcs 5th – 9th Sept (Sorry but the pictures won’t line up!)


I can’t believe we are over a 6 weeks since we went to Centre Parcs!  I am now on a major update this blog quest!

Monday Sept 5th saw Si, Luke and I head off to Centre Parcs in Elveden for the week!  We had been there before and since having Luke we are becoming quite accustomed to going to Centre Parcs at least once a year!  It is just such a great place for kids!

Elveden is great for us, because it is only about 1hr 30mins drive from home, so whilst you get the feeling you are away, you don’t have the long car journey at either end, which is lovely!

We left home at about 12pm, as we could check in at 2pm, having booked the Fly Start package with the villa.  The drive was uneventful and we arrived in good time.

Our villa was very close to all the amenities, so although we had bikes, we actually never used them, as walking was quicker and easier!  What was also nice, was that we were close enough to still pick up with WiFi single in our villa!  Big plus point!  LOL!

Ok, so here are the pictures, sorry but it is picture heavy!

The outside of the lodge/villa!

We always take the Woodland Lodge option now, as they are just so much nicer and for the same money!

Front of the lodge.

We were overlooking the lake, and so here is our view :-

Lovely isn’t it?  Of course this did mean we had the local wildlife visiting daily!  Much to Luke’s enjoyment.

We had booked Luke into an activity of sorts each day, to keep him in some sort of routine!  Monday we had a rest day, due to the travelling, getting bikes and just generally getting our bearings!

Tuesday, Luke was booked in for Soccer School, which was a total waste of money!  The chap who took it, was rattling on about when he played and it just never kept the attention of the younger participants!  Luke attends Little Kickers weekly so is used to football, but he did not like this!  So much so, we actually never stayed to the end, as he refused to take part! Opps!

Luke taking part, before the Coach opened his mouth!

Once the coach started talking, this was Luke!  Hence us leaving!

Luckily there was a really good play area just outside the main block and so we took him there to expel some energy, which he did, happily!

King of the Castle!

The afternoon he was booked to attend the Teddy Bears Picnic, which is always good fun!  So this one was no different!  Of course he was overjoyed to see Rupert the Bear again!

Luke and his Pal!

Tuesday was Goldilocks and the 3 Bears on stage performance in the morning, which was very good, I must say!  Luke was gripped the whole way through and really seemed to have a good time!

The Cast!

A quick spot of lunch at The Pancake House :- 

before it was time for Luke to attend Fencing for Tots! Told you he was busy!

Luke all kitted out!

His final activity for the week was Roller Tots, and that to he thoroughly enjoyed!

As you can see from all these pictures, Luke had a wonderful time and was certainly kept busy.

We ate for lunch and dinner every day and whilst Si or I never booked anything for ourselves, we had fun just watching Luke, relaxing, resting, reading, and just being a family!

Thetford Forest Camping – Aug Bank Holiday ’11


So as you know, we bought a tent end of July, beginning of August and did a trial run in our garden!









Seeing as it turned out so successful, we decided to book a local campsite and try it for real!  Wow, what a struggle to get a booking for Bank Holiday weekend, who’d have thought they would be so busy, but they were!  Anyways, we managed to get a pitch at Thetford Forest, which is only about an hour and a bit drive from ours, perfect should the weather be a disaster!

We had to pay for the 3 nights, Fri to Mon, but we actually only went for 2, Sat and Sun as we could not get there for Friday.  Just as well really, because a couple I chatted with who did arrive on the Friday at 930pm had to pitch in the dark in pouring rain!  Not my idea of fun!

So Saturday we set off for our camping holiday!

The site was very nice and the staff were very friendly.  It would of been nice to know that they office actually closed between 11 and 12, as we arrived at 1105am and couldn’t check in!  So we went in search of the local Tesco to stock up!

Now I did check the weather forecast before we left and it was anticipated rain at 1pm!  Now I know the weather is not accurate but from the look of the clouds above, this time, it could very well of been!

We finally got to our pitch at 1230pm, and literally as we opened the car door to start unloading the heavens opened and they opened good!   We had the most unbelievable downpour!  Not to worry, we sat in the car and ate our lunch and waited for it to pass and then pitched the tent!

All I can say is thank goodness we did the trial run at home, it took us a little under 1hr 30mins to get it all setup and beds made, which really wasn’t bad I thought.

The site was lovely and clean and the amenities were clean and tidy and very well laid out.  We did pay a £10 deposit so we could get the key to the bathroom with a bath in it for Luke in the evenings which really did prove a lifesaver!

All set up and ready to go!








Luke exploring the forest.








Sunset on the first night.








We took Luke to Banham Zoo on the Sunday and he loved it as always!  Here he is feeding the animals!






Getting his badge for collecting all the stamps!  Proud boy!







Tractor Boy!








We had a wonderful time.  I did notice how you tended to go to bed alot earlier and rose quite early, but it was fine.

I loved being outside, sleeping under the stars, ok with protection! LOL! Waking to the birds tweeting, hearing Owls hooting, just generally not having City life anywhere near!

Will we do it again?  110%!  Can’t wait for the next holiday which sadly will now been next year as the camping season tends to generally close from Oct to Apr.

Roll on 2012!

2nd Big Step on my quest for Recovery!


At 1am this morning, whilst dealing with the results of my laxative abuse, I decided enough is enough!

The only person that can stop taking these damn pills are me!  So today I binned the lot!  And not just in a clean bin, so if times are hard, I can get them out!  No, in amongst my old, disgusting food, where there is no way I am going to try and retrieve them!

How do I feel?  Relieved, I shall now get an unbroken nights sleep, scared, because I now need to try and control my weight the correct healthy way!  Empowered that this journey is going in the right direction so far and my only wish now is that I don’t fall off the wagon and slip back into old ways!

But 1st step was big – seeking help, 2nd step is bigger, taking action to aid that help, and destroying the pills that are destroying me is huge!

Oh my goodness, I am really doing this!

Can I just say a ‘HUGE, THANK YOU!’ to those who commented on yesterday’s post, I feel so lucky to have such amazing support around me and to have people who rather judge and criticize are helping and aiding!  So thank you!

Overeaters Anonymous


I have been toying with the idea about doing a blog post on this subject for a while now, and I kept putting it off, because I realise not many people want to know about others problems!

But you know what?  It is MY problem and this is MY blog, detailing the goings on in MY life, and right now this is going on!  So if you don’t want to read about it, please leave the page now…………………………………………

I have had a weight issue for many, many years and you only need to read through this blog from past posts to see how I have tried over the years to lose the weight, and to be honest WITHOUT success!  I have always felt I have other issues relating to food, but no one would listen.  Finally on the 18th August ’11 I decided to seek professional help and made an appointment with my GP.

She has agreed I have an eating disorder, and before you throw your hands up and go no you haven’t, look at the size of you!  There are different kinds of eating disorders as she pointed out!

I took an online survey that is recommended by the National Centre for Eating Disorders and I scored 50, which basically means :-

You have a sub-clinical eating disorder, which means that you have anorexic feelings and behaviours. Generally, you feel out of control around food and may, at times, feel taken over by someone else who does the eating for you. You know that your eating behaviour is not altogether normal, but it is not quite serious enough to warrant medical attention. Yet you devote a lot of energy into trying to control your eating, thinking and worrying about food and weight and being otherwise unhappy with yourself.Perhaps you are not altogether aware of just how much eating has come to rule your life and play havoc with your self-esteem. You would like to get away from food but you can’t – it is part of family and social life and it is bound up with celebrations such as holidays Christmas and birthdays. As much as you would like to, you just can’t relax on these occasions. Or, if you do, there will be a heavy price to pay. It is draining you of energy.

Possibly, you feel that your behaviour around food is a personal weakness – a deficiency in your willpower – or you are just plain greedy. Or, you have learned to hide these impulses under a mask of rigid control. Either way, you have totally lost touch with, or trust in, your natural hunger. Hunger is your friend and your enemy at the very same time.

It isn’t correct to blame yourself for your relationship with food. Eating problems are not a sign of personal weakness or psychological damage. But concerns about eating can take over your life, ruin your self-esteem and make you perpetually depressed.

Food may mean many things to you. It may be your secret friend, your comforter or the only way you know to break life’s rules. Help yourself to let go of worries about your weight – and give up dieting. These concerns underlie most of the problems people have with food. Learn to think of food as something that heals the body and gives it strength, energy and passion.

If you are near the upper scores for this category, do consider a short spell of counselling with an expert in eating disorders. This may help prevent your problems from getting worse and causing damage to your health. The first port of call could be your GP or contact the British Psychological Society or the British Association for Counselling who would advise you on eating disorder specialists in your area.

Types of eating disordersCompulsive eating
You feel you eat enough, but you can’t stop eating. However much you eat, you keep on having more. At times, it feels as if you have been taken over by someone else, and you can feel physically bad and very guilty when you stop but you do it again anyway.You might make promises to stop, but, whatever triggers you, starts it off all over again and you feel out of control. You try to diet and you can’t even get started, or you may lose weight, only to put it all on again and even more. You have probably tried lots of diets but you may be fatter than ever.

It seems like an unending cycle of eating, remorse, dieting and overeating again. You feel very ashamed of your eating habits and so you may eat a lot in secret. You can’t make sense of what you do. You long to eat normally like everybody else, just take food or leave it. But it’s never enough.

You have tried to lose weight earlier in your life but you started overeating and you thought that getting rid of it would be a good idea to stop you from gaining weight. But it has gone out of control and now these secret rituals of bingeing and purging rule your life.

You can eat just one bite too many and that can set things off. You eat large amounts of food, forbidden food: sometimes you don’t even taste it, then you get rid of it. It makes you feel very bad, ashamed and ill but you simply cannot stop.

You long to be able to eat normally, or at least stop doing these terrible things to yourself, but you are terrified of gaining weight. And so it goes on and on and, although you long for help, you don’t dare let anyone find out.
More on bulimia nervosa.

You have lost a lot of weight. People are worried about you but you wish they would leave you alone. You don’t need any food, you are in fact terrified of gaining weight but you can’t admit that to yourself least alone to others, so you pretend that everything is fine. You cant remember when dieting turned into a full scale obsession with being thinner and thinner but you cant worry about that now- all you care about is how to eat as little as possible and get as much exercise as possible to lose even more weight as quickly as you can.

You are cold and you have lost your periods (if you are a girl) and you’re depressed but that is because you are feeling fat and ugly, so whatever you eat is still too much. You know you are in trouble but you don’t want to think about that now. Lets just lose another pound. Then you might hate yourself a little less. But that doesn’t work, either.
More on anorexia nervosa

How interesting is that?  I can totally relate to what they are saying, I do use laxatives, and so whilst I may not make myself sick I try to control my weight in other unhealthy ways.  I do also binge.

So I have started to seek serious help!  I have been referred for Cognitive Behavourial Therapy, that I have my first session on the 14th Sept and I am also being referred to our local Eating Disorder centre for help.

I am starting to feel very motivated, that I can control this.  I won’t say beat it, and the reason why I say that is because I am also joining an online support group for Overeaters and they use the same principles as Alcoholics Anonymous and so whilst I will control it, I think it is something that you learn to control and live with, and I am not sure if it ever really goes away!  But I certainly feel I can sort it!

So some big steps for me happening over the coming weeks, and whilst I am happy about them I am also scared, nervous and embarrassed!  I have finally admitted to those close to me what I do and I think that is the first step, and whilst I know I have their support, what I am hoping doesn’t happen is that they to start monitoring what I eat and do when we are together.  This needs to be controlled by me and actioned by me and only I can rectify it!

I will be checking back posting about my progress, because I feel that there are some people out there that will be keen to monitor it but not only that, they may be in the same position as me and it is good to know there is help out there for you just may need to search for it!

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 30


Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today and 3 good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

I am not a picture person, so there is no way I would have a picture taken of me today, so here is one that was taken a few days ago!  I thought it would do! LOL!

3 good things that have happened in the last 30 days!

1. Went camping!

2. Realised I need help with my eating!

3. Feel great sharing some personal info about myself over the last 30days!

The last day of the challenge and I do hope you have all enjoyed reading it!

Normal blogging shall now resume!