Well I bet that title has got a few people’s tongues wagging! LOL!
But a friend of mine, who’s blog I read all the time, did a very interesting post over the weekend about having children. You can find it here if you wish to read it :- http://caribbeanprincessmusings.blogspot.com/2011/05/on-having-children.html
This post really rang true with me and I decided, I would write my own post, as it is something that has really bugged me since having Luke.
It is true, the questions start, when you get the boyfriend!
1. When is the engagement – tick, done!
2. When is the wedding – tick, done!
3. When are the patter of tiny feet arriving – tick, done!
4. When is the second patter of tiny feet arriving – Uh, NEVER!
Yes I am one of those few women who is very content with having just ONE child, and why society can’t accept that I will never know. I don’t judge those mothers who wish to have 2, 3, 4……..14 children, so why judge me? In which book of life does it say Women shall never have anything less than 1 child?
There is nothing wrong with my reproductive organs, I can produce offspring just fine, thank you, I just choose to limit them!
I have noticed, since having Luke that some of the people I know who have gone on to have 2nd children, almost outcast me now, liking having 2 is a cult and makes being a mother a job, where as having 1 is a easy and being a mother is simple!
Being a mother is a hard job whether you have 1 or more children!
I am asked on a very regular basis, I will say almost weekly, when Luke will be having a sibling and when I answer NEVER, the look of horror that descends on some people’s faces is just a picture.
Then the following happens…………………. I get told, ‘Oh, he will be lonely, without a sibling!’ I’m sorry, but if you believe that siblings make a child complete, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your family dynamics! My son has 2 loving parents, who are married and living under the same roof – that in itself seems a bit novel these days! – he goes to a wonderful nursery, where he has numerous friends! Coupled with the extended family he has, he certainly isn’t lonely, so that theory is blown out the water!
Next comes ‘Oh you don’t want to leave it too late to have another, you are getting older!’ Yes that is true, which is precisely why I had Luke at the ripe age of 34! So I couldn’t plan any more, due to my age!
Now I say this, to mothers, fathers, and generally people everywhere. It is a couples choice as to the number of children they have, not societies, and if they want only ONE child, so be it, respect it, accept it, and wish them well. Having ONE child does not make them any less of parents, if anything I think they are more savvy. Having children costs ALOT of money and some people have the sense to see that and have ONE child because that is what they can afford without compromising their standard of living, their childs needs and future education, and their own relationship.
Maybe I have this view, because I come from a society that when you had a baby it was your responsibility, not the Governments, there are no hand outs and you paid for that child. In Britain, of course depending on income, the more children you have the more Govt funding you get, but I shan’t go down that route.
So the next time you see a Mother with 1 child, celebrate her decisions, her childs life and that fact she is a MOTHER, don’t judge her and criticize her because she ONLY had 1!